Long Road To Boston
2022 Boston Marathon
I’ve admired the Boston Marathon for a “wicked” long time. Sorry, I can’t help the New Englander coming out of me. Growing up not far north of Boston, only 45 minutes as Momma drives, I knew about the Boston Marathon at an early age. 20 years ago, I remember Dad taking me to a brunch sponsored by Brigham and Women’s Hospital with special guest Bob Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots. At this brunch, Kraft thanked many platelet donors including Dad for their service to the hospital. I was really only at this brunch to get a chance to touch the Super Bowl trophy the Patriots just won, but I found something much more meaningful there.
One of the guest speakers at this brunch was a cancer survivor, who thanked all of the platelet donors for helping save his life and many other cancer patients. The survivor later went on to discuss about the importance of always challenging yourself. With the new gift of life he had been given, he was soon eager to take on another significant challenge: the Boston Marathon. Although training was very difficult for him, this man didn’t want to take his gift of life for granted and was determined to get to starting line and finish the marathon. And he did! For him, the impossible was possible. As a ten year old, I thought this man’s story was amazing. “Could I run the marathon when I grow up?” I thought. “Could I too make the impossible, possible.” This was where my road to Boston began.
Bob Kraft and I were so young back in 2002.
Did I jump right into running after that ceremony? Absolutely not. Well, I mean I did try running fast in gym class at school, but I was too easily discouraged whenever I failed to qualify for the “Presidential Award.” It was an award they’d give to elementary school students who were the most physically fit by US standards, which included running a fast mile. So much for encouraging physical fitness, this award had the exact opposite effect on me.
Later on in High School I signed up for cross country to get into shape. After two years of no improvement and being one of the slowest members of the team, I quit. Though my interest in running and in any form of exercise really dwindled, my admiration for Boston Marathon was still there. Sometimes members of the community I knew would run the event and raise money. It was interesting to see how close to home this international event truly was. I remember looking up the qualification times for Boston when I turned 18, and when I saw I’d have to run at least a seven minute mile pace for an entire marathon my heart sank. I couldn’t even run that pace for a 5K when I was running cross country. But you know what? A little part of me still believed I could one day run Boston. I just needed to work on some things first.
Momma rowing in college second from the right, at the Head of the Charles in Boston.
I decided during my first year in college to test my physical endurance, via the sport of rowing. Momma rowed in college, and she often told me rowing made her believe she could push through anything. I desperately wanted her mental and physical toughness, so I signed up to row as soon as I found out my college had the sport. In the beginning of the rowing season there were 24 of us new recruits, but as the season “rowed” along, people dropped like flies. I might’ve too had it not been for my now very good friend, Fielding Confer.
Fielding not only encouraged me to work hard, but he helped me and many of our other crew mates achieve that “togetherness” all rowers strive for. He’d also plan events outside of practice whether it was going to see movies like the “classics” Sucker Punch and Fast Five, trying the city of Rochester’s fine cuisine of red hots and garbage plates, or playing really awful basketball games together. You may think I’m being sarcastic, but I swear we had so much fun together as a crew in and out of our boat.
What’s most incredible though is Fielding did this all while he was undergoing cancer treatment. To see his drive in becoming one of the fastest rowers on the team, his dedication to helping the entire team, and his triumph with beating cancer was all very moving. We finished the year rowing in Worcester MA, and with Momma there to watch, she was very happy to see me following in her footsteps. “I could endure anything now,” I thought.
Like Momma, like son. I’m fifth to the right, Fielding is third to the right.
Although I didn’t continue rowing in college, I started running for fun and running actually became enjoyable for me. Going to school in Rochester, it was nice to be next to so many flat canal trails. It felt like a runner’s paradise. I saw running as an escape from working long days on student films in a dark windowless editing suite, and as a way to explore parts of Rochester I hadn’t seen before.
When I did an internship at New Hampshire Public Television I met someone else in the industry who had the marathon running bug, Phil Vaughn. As I worked there, I noticed Phil would go to the UNH track in the middle of day to workout sometimes coming back to the studio still in running gear. Coworkers told me he ran Boston Marathon multiple times and he was really fast. I’ll admit I was intimidated to talk to Phil at first, thinking I was such an amateur compared to him, but not only was he so friendly with me, he also encouraged me to run marathons. I thought running a marathon was still a long shot away, however half marathons was a good stepping stone. When I got back to school, I did an unofficial half marathon in Rochester and finished in under two hours. I was actually pretty happy about the result, so happy in fact I didn’t think I had to run Boston anymore. “Have nothing more to prove myself,” I thought.
Phil Vaughn filming the Boston Marathon from his point of view .
I felt very content with how my life was after college. Before college I had big dreams of living in the city and running Boston, but after school I just wanted to have a job and peacefully live on my own. After school I got a job in upstate New York’s Finger Lakes region, an area that I found very fun to explore places on foot or on a bicycle after work. If this was how the rest of my life was going to be, I was perfectly alright with that.
One evening in September 2014 though as I was jogging across the road, a car hit me. I found myself staring at the burning evening sky, not able to move any part of my body. “That was a quick run,” I thought.
I didn’t want life to end like this. I hadn’t even tried to live, like really live. I was so scared my last moment was going to be away from loved ones, having not lived to love and care for anyone but myself really and I wasn’t even good at taking care of myself. I did everything I could to stay conscious fearing I’d fall into the deep sleep. From the ambulance ride to the hospital procedures, I listened to either what medical professionals had to say or the sound of the heart rate monitor. For two days I fought to stay constantly awake. I give so much credit to trauma medical staff at Upstate Hospital for doing a great job taking care of me and making me feel more positive, and also to my family and employer Magic Circle Entertainment for supporting me during those uncertain scary days afterwards. It all paid off.
Smiling through tough times at Upstate Hospital in Syracuse, NY.
Without going into too much detail about the injuries, it turned out what I had was what you’d have from falling down a couple of steps, not from getting hit by a car. I was lucky. Correction: I was “wicked” lucky. Though the physical recovery was relatively quick, the mental recovery took a little longer especially having a physical recovery that required no head movement, which seemed like everything. “Why was I lucky?” I’d ask myself sometimes. “If it was a second chance, where should I even start?”
Part of the work I was doing at Magic Circle Entertainment was archiving a power metal band’s films and recordings. After the accident, I was instructed to watch down the band’s archive and take notes on what was recorded. To see the band’s younger selves celebrating and living life to the fullest with a clear vision, it was actually very inspiring to see. Did it want me to become a heavy metal rocker? Not really, but working with Magic Circle helped me believe in myself more. The time of settling down was over, so why not take life more seriously and take up the sport of triathlon?
Yes, I just mentioned triathlon and not marathon, but don’t worry we’ll get to talking about marathon soon. The year following the accident, I felt the best way to pick up an exercise routine as well as explore more of the beautiful Finger Lakes region and meet new friends was to take part in triathlons. The YMCA I trained at, I met my friend Wes Brizenidine, who was also looking for a sport that’d give him purpose. We had an absolute blast training and racing these events. We quickly found out after our first races we had enough endurance to actually take this sport seriously.
Racing with endurance training partners Wes (left) and twin brother Doug (right).
When I left upstate New York and moved to New York City, I became more committed to the sport and staying in shape. I also convinced my twin brother Doug to take up triathlon. He was always supportive and encouraging of my triathlon efforts and it was nice to share this sport with him. We are still trying to convince our younger brother Wyatt to race. We’ll give him time.
I decided in the triathlon offseason to give half marathon another try and signed up for a race near my hometown called the Loco Half Marathon. Without much running specific training, I ran it in under an hour and 30 minutes. I was so thrilled with the result. Maybe qualifying for the Boston Marathon was possible! At the end of race, who did I “run” into? Phil Vaughn! It was great to have finally done a race with him after all of these years, and all by happenstance.
I spoke with him about possibly running a full marathon this year. He said “It’s doable, but it’s good to have a long block of training.” Not taking his warning very seriously, I signed up for the Bucks County Marathon in Pennsylvania a month after the half marathon. I crashed, hard. I ran way too fast with the lead pack, and by Mile 13 I was really hurting with side cramps. Though I didn’t race the marathon time I wanted, I was determined more than ever to qualify for Boston.
In May 2017 I Boston Qualified for the first time at a time of 3:04:13 at the Gate City Marathon in New Hampshire. However I quickly learned when signing up for Boston that year, your qualification time doesn’t guarantee you a spot. The 2018 Boston Marathon’s cut off time was at about 3:02:00 for my age group. My time wasn’t accepted. The rejection stunk, but I still very much wanted to qualify for Boston.
First ring and only ring for a long while.
Late in 2017 I had a rough bike accident that messed up my knee so much so it developed into IT band syndrome. Because of this I wasn’t able to run a qualification time in 2018. That same year the Boston Athletic Association cut the qualification times down by five minutes, which meant I’d have to run under three hours in order to just even apply for a spot. It was disheartening to hear, especially when it required having a mostly injury free body again and run much faster. I still had some hope of running Boston one day. It was a tiny bit of hope, but hope nonetheless.
To recap my recap about the 2019 Chicago Marathon, the hope, as well as the enormous help of my family and coach/physical therapist Emmi Aguillard, got me to qualify again for the Boston Marathon. I felt such triumph at the finish line. I also ran fast enough to give myself two minutes of buffer in case the cut off time was less than three hours. Patriots Day 2021 was going to be the date I’d finally run Boston!
Don’t trust the clock, I broke three hours in Chicago!
Well, 2020 had other ideas. Though the pandemic put many things on pause, it wasn’t going to pause me from training for Boston. Later in the year some regional races started to open, so I decided to take another stab at running a faster marathon time at Bucks County again. I did much better than in 2016, but lost steam at mile 20 and ran only 20 seconds faster than Chicago. Shortly afterwards, I heard the Boston Marathon for 2021 was moved from Patriots Day to Columbus Day. This was another chance to run faster! I signed up for another race April called the Cheap Marathon in New Hampshire and did quite well, finishing at 2:53:15. In May I signed up for Boston again, and a couple of weeks later I heard back.
Dear Lawrence Merrill,
Thank you for submitting your entry application for the 125th Boston Marathon. Regrettably, we are unable to accept your application due to field size limitations and the large number of applications received from qualified participants.
I was a little upset, but not as much as I had been in the past. It was a much smaller field for 2021, so chances were hopefully higher for getting into the 2022 Boston Marathon when the marathon would be at full capacity. Also, as my great coach Danielle Mack told me, I could focus more on my Ironman in September and NYC Marathon in November. Then a week later after rejection I got into another bike accident. This accident really messed me up. I went back home to New Hampshire so I could try to recover and be with family. I was disappointed in myself for carelessly getting into another accident, but mostly I was sad I was probably not going to be able to follow my dream of Boston anymore.
When you think your life as you knew is over, it is. But sometimes, it can mean in a really great way, and that’s how this time turned out for me. While rehabbing, I met the love of my life, Kerry Dolan. When I had no love for myself, Kerry gave me so much love and care it made me feel whole again. Life as I knew it was over, but a happier and fuller life was about to begin.
Sunshine and rainbows with Kerry.
After three months in the “Shire,” I finished rehabbing and was able to start training for the 2021 NYC Marathon, which Kerry was also doing! Together we did workouts together, cooked healthy and tasty meals, and also just spent fun and relaxing time together not worrying about the marathon. And when race day came, we seized the day! Kerry had finished her first marathon, and I ran a new personal record for a marathon. A few weeks later, the 2022 Boston Marathon registration opened, and I used my NYC Marathon time for entry. Soon after Thanksgiving, I heard back from the Boston Athletic Association.
“Dear Lawrence Merrill,
Congratulations! Your entry into the 126th Boston Marathon on Monday, April 18, 2022 has been accepted”
I was in! 20 years of “Chasing the Unicorn” was coming to a close. Throughout the years, whenever I told people I was training to qualify for Boston, I’d often add Boston Marathon was going to be my last marathon. But having been in such a long pursuit, I was starting to obsess over feeling the constant need to run a faster marathon. For any Lord of the Rings fan reading this, I felt like Frodo bringing the ring to Mt. Doom and all of a sudden not wanting to cast the ring into the fire. Part of me felt running Boston meant I’d be ending a way of life. To realize this was happening to me too, I was scared especially because I thought it’d hurt Kerry. Before Kerry, I was a lone wolf, but now I was with someone who I loved and cared more than myself. When I told Kerry about these feelings, she was incredibly supportive and wanted to help me follow my endurance dreams. She was also interested in taking part in them too, and so was I! Whatever happens on this road to Boston, we’d run it together, head on.
The next few winter months Kerry and I continued training together and sooner than we knew it Patriots Day was upon us. We were very excited, and so were my friends and family. Not only was Kerry, my parents, and my brothers coming to see me race, but so was my Uncle Chip and Aunt Mal and Fielding. Unfortunately though a week before my marathon, my Dad tested positive for Covid and wasn’t able to go to the race. It was the times we lived in, but I reassured him I’d be thinking about him as I ran. We originally were all going to meet up on the day before the race, but we understood it wasn’t worth the risk of possibly getting each other sick. Though family was missed, I was able to have a nice and peaceful time with Kerry in Boston and Cambridge, walking along the Charles River where Momma once rowed. Old dreams and new dreams were coming together all at once.
Signs from the best fans in the world, my family.
Race Day
Patriot’s Day started with me waking up at 4AM to my Lion King music alarm. I quickly got ready, said my goodbye to Kerry, and went on my way to the starting line. Ever since I started running marathons, I have had a lucky streak of really nice weather for a marathon. Boston Marathon was no different. Sunny and in the 50s! Boston Marathon is a point to point, net downhill race that starts 26 miles west of Boston in town called Hopkinton, so it took a little while to get to the start. As I was getting to the starting line in Hopkinton, I couldn’t help but feel humbled being surrounded by really fast runners. Some people call the Boston Marathon “the People’s Olympics” because it’s one of the few races out there where the majority of runners are accepted by qualification time.
As great as it felt to finally be at the starting line of this race, I started to worry about my past injuries of the knee and ankles and thinking they might come back again in the race. The mind has a way of playing games with you at the worst possible time sometimes. The week prior to Boston, Coach Danielle spoke to me about the importance of having a mantra and happy memories to get you through tough times including races. For the Harry Potter fans out there, think of it as the Patronus Charm. Just as the worrisome thoughts seeped I remembered these happy memories of mine. I also told myself this is exactly where I wanted to be. I was here, following a dream a “young Lar” had. And I was ready to show my family and friends how blessed I was to have them help me follow this dream of mine. They got me here, now off I go!
Right where I want to be.
All downhill from Hopkinton to Boston! Well, except for a couple of big hills later on in the course. I will say though running down the hill in early section of the Boston Marathon was exhilarating. I was going much faster than my 6:25 per mile goal marathon pace, already starting my sprint surge “Kerry Kicks” way too early. My adrenaline rush was kicking in at full blast. I felt no pain. It probably helped the first six miles of the course very much felt like where I grew up in New Hampshire. Here I was passing by similar country roads, white steeple churches, rock walls, woodlands, and ponds like the ones I’d run by as a kid. Boston Marathon was a homecoming for me.
Not trying to get too distracted by the exhilaration, I shifted focus back to the marathon and running a steady pace during this first section. Knowing my family and friends were waiting for me at Mile 17 by the Newton Firehouse, I wanted to make sure I could keep the same pace until then. And when I’d see them, I’d take up a notch for the last nine miles! It was actually relatively easy to keep the pace at cruise control. For the first half I was running at a 6:10-6:15 per mile pace, which resulted in the fastest half marathon time I’ve ever run. But when I passed by the screaming tunnel of Wellesley College soon afterwards, I noticed I was losing shock absorption in my quads from the down hills. My quads were on fire, and not in a fun way. Surprisingly I was still able to keep a good pace. I just really wanted to make my family proud as passed them by before the notorious Heartbreak Hill, the last big hill before the home stretch into Boston.
Fielding, Aunt Mal, and Wyatt around Mile 17.
When I got to Mile 17 by the Newton Firehouse, I went by so quickly I didn’t see any of my family. It’s very challenging to pick people out from the international marathon crowds. No matter what though, they were with me in spirit. I was thinking about them constantly. They were the reason why I was here, and also the reason I was able to take on Heartbreak Hill. When I took on this hill, I could hear just hear my family smack talking, “you didn’t walk uphill from the school bus stop everyday, just slow down on a hill at a world marathon major!”Though the negative smack talk worked running up the hills, I couldn’t really smack talk myself coming downhill from Newton to downtown Boston. The shock absorption in my quads was gone, and I could no longer keep up with the 6:15 pace. I dropped the pace between 6:40 and 6:50 a mile, but was determined to not drop the pace into the seven minute per mile zone.
There it was, the Citgo sign! People say when you see the Citgo sign that’s across the street from Fenway Park, you have a mile left to the finish line. Was it really that close? I checked my Garmin watch and saw I was more than three miles out. That sign was a terrible tease. I quickly did the math in my head to realize what was a realistic time to shoot for. At the start of the race I was confident I could run faster than my 2:50:13 personal best, but was really eyeing under 2:45:00. 2:45:00 was out of the question now, but sub 2:50:00 was very doable just had to keep running under a 7:00 pace. I thought the last three miles of NYC Marathon were tough, Boston’s last three miles were even more brutal because it was net downhill on terribly sore legs.
One racing strategy I heard Coach Danielle discuss once was to try narrowing your focus. Rather than think you have two more miles to the Citgo sign and another mile after that, focus on just to the end of the street before the turn and give a good effort for just that distance. Each time the street changed or turned a corner you’d be giving yourself a mental boost. For the last three miles from Brookline to Boston, I was giving myself lots of mini mental boosts knowing I was getting so close to finishing this beast of a marathon. The last corner to round was onto the iconic Boylston Street, less than a quarter mile away from the finish! With the crowds everywhere it was hard to not sprint this last stretch. The cheering helped override the pain I was feeling. I was able to complete one last set of “Kerry Kicks” all the way to finish.
Kerry capturing a rare sight of me not stopping at a chocolate store.
Finished! My official time was 2:48:30, new personal record! Picked up the unicorn medal and that was that, the dream was complete. What was the dream really though? Was it truly crossing the finish line on Boylston? I thought that’s what it was for twenty years. But for some reason, I still felt like I was dreaming. I still felt I was on the road to Boston, still uncertain if I’d ever arrive there. Much of my life I’ve been afraid of uncertainty, but I’ve been blessed to have so many loving and caring people in my life who inspire me to face uncertainty head on and to keep daring greatly. As I wondering aimlessly like a wounded deer around the finish area unable to move so easily, once again Kerry came to my rescue. She gave me so many huge helpings of love. Here we were at the Boston finish, sharing a beautiful dream together. Far better than any dream I’ve ever imagined, including chasing the unicorn. Off we go now!
Kerry and I at the Boston Marathon Finish Line still dreaming.
Official Results: https://www.baa.org/races/boston-marathon/results/search-results
